Book Report

From Rick Bruno, 71C
NO NURSING HOME FOR ME                     !!!!!!!!!
No nursing home for us.  We’ll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I’ve already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.  For   a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it’s $59.23 per night.
Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the                     afternoon.  That leaves  $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any                     restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and                     special TV movies.  Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.   Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
$5 worth of tips a day you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.  They  treat you like a customer, not a                     patient.  There’s  a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride  free.  The  handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on  Sundays.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.
While  you’re at the airport, fly somewhere.  Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It  takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn                     will take your reservation today.
And you’re not stuck in one place forever — you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see  Hawaii?  They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV   broken?  Light bulbs need changing?  Need a mattress replaced?  No problem.. They fix  everything,  and apologize for the                     inconvenience.
The  Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The                     maid checks to see if you are ok.  If not, they’ll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.
If  you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and  Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your  life.   
                       
And  no worries about visits from family. They will always be                     glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation.
The grandkids can use the pool.
                            What more could I ask for?

So,  when I reach that golden age, I’ll face it with a grin.
AIDS                     WARNING!
 
  
To    all of  you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and                     past,  this email is especially for   you……
SENIOR  CITIZENS
ARE   THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF  AIDS!

HEARING  AIDS

BAND AIDS

ROLL   AIDS

WALKING  AIDS 

MEDICAL   AIDS

GOVERNMENT   AIDS

MOST OF   ALL,

MONETARY  AID TO  THEIR KIDS!

Not  forgetting HIV

(Hair is Vanishing)


I’m only sending this to my ‘old’   friends.

I  love to see you smile.
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