From Herb Stepp, Friend of ther Forge
Daily Archives: July 9, 2011
From Rick Bruno, 71C
Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, ‘Titanic’ and ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton..
One student turned in the following book report,
With the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.
Titanic:…. Cost – $29.99
Clinton :….. Cost – $29.99
Titanic:…… Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :….. Over 3 hours to read
Titanic:…. The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe..
Clinton :… The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic:…. Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :….. Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic:….. In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :…. Ditto for Bill.
Titanic:….. During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton :…… Ditto for Monica.
Titanic:….. Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :… Let’s not go there.
Titanic:….. Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton :…. Monica’ s forced to return her gifts.
Titanic:…… Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton :…… Clinton doesn’t remember jack.
Titanic:….. Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen..
Clinton :…… Monica.. ooh, let’s not go there, either.
Titanic:….. Poor Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :….. Bill goes home to Hillary – basically the same thing!!
From Rick Bruno, 71C
YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS LAWYER
Never thought I’d say that!
Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the
task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.. With a
community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have
been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite
difficult to establish ownership. Here’s a great letter an attorney wrote to
the FHA on behalf of a client:
You have to love this lawyer……..
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan
would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property
being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803,
which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.
(Actual reply from FHA):
“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan
application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.
While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be
accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
“Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note that you
wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present
application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country,
particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana
was purchased by the United States from France, in 1803 the year of origin
identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA
bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from
France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain . The land came
into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a
sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of
seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella.
The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus’s expedition…Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?”
The loan was immediately approved.