From Bob Wyman, Friend of the Forge
When Grandma Goes to Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question
if they aren’t prepared fir the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,”Mrs. Jones, do you
know me?” She responded, “Why yes, I do
know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly,
you’ve been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat o your wife and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you’re
a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.
The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,”Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She replied, “Why yes, I’ve know Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and
he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone,
and his law practice is one of the worst I the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with
three different women. One of them was
your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney nearly dies.
The judge asked both of the counselors to approach the
bench and, in a very quiet voice said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she
knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.”