Daily Archives: August 8, 2011

College Students

From Keith Stanton, 1969

And we wonder why we’re bankrupt?

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Do you hear that squealing?  That is the sound of the Golden Goose finally being killed!

Support our Troops!

Some good news from the new Republican Admin in MI.

30,000 college students kicked out of food aid program in Michigan

Read the article at http://detnews.com/article/20110808/POLITICS02/108080356/30-000-college-students-kicked-out-of-food-aid-program-in-Michigan#.Tj_z4BmgtS8.email

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Surf’s Up

From Rick Bruno, 71C
FOR YOU PARENTS, SHOW YOUR KIDS FOR YOU KIDS, SHOW YOUR PARENTS, AND FOR YOU PARENTS OF ADOPTED KIDS ( YOUR PETS), WHAT THE HELL SHOW THEM TOO. WHO KNOWS; ONE OF THEM MAY RECOGNIZE THE SURFER AS THEIR LONG LOST LITTER MATE!!!!!!!!
RICH

Job opening

From Rick Bruno, 71C
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just HATE
drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job!”

The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and
bodyguard……for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to Drive around in
his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL550 and he will supply all of

Your clothes.  Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll
also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday Trips….
And this is rather awkward to say, but you will also have to, As part of
your job assignment, satisfy her sexual urges as the Daughter is in her
mid-20s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well …… You started it.”

Top Four Adult Jokes of 2010

From Denny Bell, Friend of the Forge

Top Four Adult Jokes of 2010

Fourth Place:
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.  They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, ‘Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.’
She replies, ‘If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 221..’

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Third Place :

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife’s arm.  The wife turns over and says ‘I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh..’

The husband, rejected, turns over.  A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.  ‘Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?’
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Runner Up:

Bill worked in a pickle factory.   He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.   He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.   His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.  He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. 
‘What’s wrong, Bill?’ she asked.
‘Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?’
‘Oh, Bill, you didn’t’ she exclaimed.
‘Yes, I did.’ he replied.

‘My God, Bill, what happened?’

‘I got fired.’

‘No, Bill.  I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?’
‘Oh…she got fired too.’
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Winner:
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, ‘Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.’
‘I know,’ the old man said.  ‘We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..’
‘Well,’ Granny snickered.  ‘Let’s relive some old times.’
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
‘You know, honey,’ the little old lady breathlessly replied, ‘My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised,’ replied Gramps.   ‘One’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
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News from Pfizer Corp.

FRom Rick Bruno, 71C

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra
will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name
of:

MOUNT & DO.
 Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research.   This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky
boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

E-Trade Baby Loses Everything.

From Rick Bruno, 71C

Your gonna love this one !!!

http://youtu.be/W4hfdaC7eL4