Daily Archives: August 9, 2011

Avoiding The Wife

If you are Politically Correct or offended by the fact the joke uses the name Flynn denoting someone of Irish ancestry, please substitute, Guido, Muhammad, Rufus, Jose, Oki-San, James, or Girlie-Man in it’s place.
Avoiding the wife

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.   He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.   A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.   He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.   She said, ‘You were drunk again last night weren’t you?’

Flynn said, ‘Why you say such a mean thing?’

‘Well,’ Mary said, ‘it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly…..
it’s all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

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School Bus Driver: I Was Fired for Helping Police

From Keith Stanton, 1969

A bus driver picks up 3 police officers in danger and gets fired for it. Read story through link below:
If after reading this story you would like to express your opinion to the company that fired the driver, please don’t hesitate to contact them at the e-mail address below.

info@thetransgroup.com

A Quote for the Ages

From Rick Bruno, 71C

WOW!!! BUT THIS IS NOT HIS FAULT RIGHT……IT JUST HAD TO BE SOMETHING ELSE LIKE; WELL LET’S SEE; I KNOW, MAYBE A BAD TELEPROMPTER BACK IN 2006. RIGHT????
IT JUST HAD TO BE………….RIGHT?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(OR, WAS THEN, AND IS SOMEONE NOW, PUTTING WORDS IN HIS MOUTH LIKE A PUPPET?? (OOPS, DID I SAY THAT??))
GOT TO GO NOW BY,
RICH

another one for all the Obama fans………
A quote for the ages:

“The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure.  It is a sign that the US Government can not pay its own bills.  It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies.  Increasing America’s debt weakens us domestically and internationally.  Leadership means that, “the buck stops here.’  Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren.  America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.”

— Senator Barack H. Obama, March 2006

A Sailor’s Outrage

From Rick Bruno, 71C